What I have learned about love, part 1

Love is an action. It shows in what you do and not in what you say.  Saying I love you is nice & beautiful, but it’s not the same as doing something that demonstrates love. For love to be truly felt, words need to be followed by action.

Love is a feeling, but there is much more to it. Love is innately in us because God made each of us to be on this earth, and we would not be on this earth if it were not for him. We are all images and mirrors of him and his love, and we are to share that love with others especially the one who is our significant other.

This is part 1 because there is so much more to share on this subject.  I share this about my own life; I have been married and divorced, so I have seen what love is and what it is not. My dad was a preacher, so I grew up in a good Christian family who knew and knows how love should be shown.  Here is what I have learned over the years about true, real love:

* Love is what it states in the Bible in 1 Corinthians chapter 13. If you don’t understand the context of this, then please go to someone who can break it down and explain it to you.

* It is taking the garbage out, helping with the laundry, or doing any other chore around the house without being asked. When asked, don’t procrastinate if you can help it. Do the chore as soon as you can. Make sure you do it with a willing spirit and a positive mindset.

* Love is wanting to share in the chores around the home unless you have the money to have hired help for inside (or outside) the home. Two are better than one in getting anything done as it makes it easier. You get things done more quickly and efficiently and you can have fun in sharing in doing them together.

* How you treat each other speaks volumes. If you tease all the time and the other one has asked you to stop, then stop it. If there’s anything abusive or negative in how the other person treats you, then it’s not love. It’s crucial you treat each other with respect, consideration, patience, and understanding.

* Learn not just to listen, but to hear what the other is saying so you can give good feedback, and do it in a way, so the other knows you understood what was asked or said. Put whatever you are doing to the side and focus on what is being asked or said to you. If you don’t have a response at least acknowledge what was said.

* Love is not manipulative, is not doing things begrudgingly, or being demanding in any way. It is not anything negative, and it is everything good and positive. It is being kind and caring in everything you say or do because love draws that out in us.

* Love is not just about having sexual relations with your significant other. It’s about having a deep relationship and connection where you both communicate well with each other and can be open and honest with one another. The communication lines always need to be open. When you start cutting those lines, your relationship suffers and you both suffer from the consequences of it.

* It is always about wanting to grow and mature in ways where it improves you as individuals, together as a couple, and change your life for the better all the time. It is wanting to build and strengthen that love every day and not when you want to do it.

*There is a famous quote from the book and movie, Love Story by Erich Segal and it is this: “Love is never having to say you’re sorry.” Love is about saying “you are sorry” when it’s needed and meaning it when it is said, but it is about always admitting when you are wrong. Saying “you are sorry” doesn’t always help matters, but it can sooth us to a point where it can bring peace.

* Love is not intentionally hurtful; it’s not wanting to cause pain in any way. No matter what we do or say, we may on occasion hurt each other with words (or by doing or saying something) because we are all different; we are all different in many ways. It’s important to bring peace and harmony to the relationship.

* It is about saying pleasantries such as “please”, “thank you”, “you’re welcome” and meaning it when those words are said.

* Love is knowing when to say or do something and when not to because our words and our tone can be misconstrued by others.

* It is about not having to explain yourself constantly because love is all about completely trusting that person. It is about not having to remind the other of something more than three times. If you find yourself reminding the other more than that, then you come off as you are begging and nagging.

* Love sets you free and allows you to become who you are meant to be because true love will encourage you in all things and assists in making you be complete when you are with the right person.

* Love is trusting, understanding, respecting, encouraging, uplifting, and inspiring one another all the time no matter what happens in life because you know life is sweeter just by having that person in your life.

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