Written: February 2013
A deep, bottomless pit
A dark, narrow tunnel
That seems never-ending
Is all it appears to be.
So very lost and lonely
Feeling utterly hopeless.
Emotions gone haywire
Not knowing if I’m coming or going
Feeling a numbness through your whole being
Is similar to when your feet have gone to sleep.
But all the while feeling completely
As if you can’t control anything.
A complete sense of selfishness grips you to a point
That you feel so very out of control with
That you push loved ones away
Not wanting help from them
Much less wanting to help yourself
You can’t help but feel utterly helpless.
There’s such a denial of not wanting
To know what’s going on
Yet you do and you know what needs to be done
You just can’t and don’t have the strength to face it
It’s very hard to deal with
And eventually you come to terms with what needs to be done.
Then one day you have an awakening
And realize what you are doing to yourself
And that the devil’s handiwork was in full force over your life.
He had fun playing havoc in your life
But now there’s this realization what it was
And depression is its name.
For many years, I have wanted to write a poem about depression, but in order to do that I needed to feel as if I could share this. I wanted to capture a certain essence about depression. Those who haven’t dealt with depression have no idea what it does to a person. I have suffered from depression more than a couple of times throughout my life, so to write about it is deeply personal and private. I feel in order to share this poem; it will help all of us know more about it.
Please know if you are suffering from depression or you know someone who is, there is help. The individual does have to seek help and want it. Please know you are not alone even when you feel lonely. Turn inwards if you need to, but don’t allow yourself to sabotage your relationships with others or become too consumed by spending time alone. Surround yourself with those you love and who love you.